Survivor: Fuji
by ahgwa
Summary: Alternate title: New Year Resolutions. The million dollar question: Can you survive Fuji? Inui will never trust his book nor Fuji again. slight EVIL pair :D
1. Prologue

**Survivor: Fuji **(Alternate title: New Year Resolution)

Disclaimer: YES I OWN PRINCE OF TENNIS. not.

* * *

Every normal kid would make a normal New Year Resolution. Something along the lines of ride a bike, get a girlfriend, make my teacher cry.

Fuji here, is hardly normal. So far off that if you said so, Tezuka might probably laugh his pants off, which is very **very **out of character for this burnt toast of a boy.

For that 9th Grade Junior Highschooler, he resolved to let his family, his teachers, every regular of Seigaku Tennis Club, every regular of Seigaku Tennis Club's rival school, and about one or two poor passerbys, to taste his wrath, or to be irked by him. In the matter of a few months.

They'd be sadder and sorrier still when they find out what kind of tragedy would befall on them.

When he told his parents, it took them two days of persuasion to take their names off his list. Lucky for them.

As you can see, Fuji isn't exactly the most normal friend/brother/enemy/teammate/pupil/rival anyone can have, and this is the series of in which his ultimate determination in fufilling his resolutions make them come true, literally!

Sadly, his first victim was, as Sengoku will say, UNLUCKY, Ryuzaki Sumire, his own, dear tennis coach of Seigaku Tennis Club...

* * *

**A/N: I got a weird dream about Tachibana and Kamio eating mashed potato yesterday, which made me think. I start to think about Momoshiro (the food obviously), then (of course) to Kaidoh, to Inui, to Aozu and then to Fuji. I sort of settled on the Fuji idea and developed this story from 11pm to 12am this morning. If I can get enough ideas, less mental blocks, more support, I think I might just finish this fic. Who knows? xD**


	2. Ryuzaki

Disclaimer: If Prince of Tennis was mine, I wouldn't be writing fanfiction eh? So. NO.

* * *

Part I: SEIGAKU, (i) Ryuzaki Sumire, coach.

Ryuzaki had always believed herself to be a source of inspiration to the team.

When Inui was too busy with his new concotions, she was always there to sort out all the lineups and random pieces of autograph paper collecting on the irresponsible manager's desk.

She had always being there when the team needed her, which (she felt) was when the team withered under the concotions like white mice. She had been there, but no one said anything about helping...

She had, as already mentioned, painstakingly linedup the regulars for smooth matches throughout the Regionals.

She was always there in between games, handing out waterbottles and giving pointless and redundant advices like "Slow and steady wins the race."

It wasn't her fault she was old and cliched.

To sum it all up, she believed the team loved her.

They do, but not everyone.

Hohoho. Not everyone.

-

Fuji carefully bandaged his fingers. Mugging Inui wasn't the best idea to keep his fingers in top shape.

But then, at least he got Ryuzaki sensei's psycology report. According to Inui's databook, which he claims to have the most, 0.1 chance of mistake, the way to her nerves is through bugging.

Not excessive bugging, about a couple of hours would do.

In the matter of minutes, she would be receiving a very very peculiar request from a not so persuasive principal...

-

"Ryuzaki sensei," The principal looked weary, which was highly unlikely for Seishun Gakuen because their lives revovles around tennis and she took care of those. "Can you please relieve Class 6 of Year 3 today? Their homeroom teacher who teaches them English, Science and Maths had a very reasonable excuse."

"Plus, you have a couple of tennis regulars in that class too." Silence. "Oh, and you have to be careful about one of them; his name is Fuji . Apparently, the class was supposed to make fizzy drinks out of sugar water, but then God knows what he added to the drink."

"The drink turned green, and so did the teacher...Wait. Isn't Fuji Syusuke one of your regulars?"

Way to have a nice impression. Especially to an European principal who had to learn the wonders of wasabi the hard way.

-

When she stepped into the classroom, the students erupted into murmurs. It sounded pretty hostile.

Turning to her two _beloved _regulars, she could see Eiji looking warily over at the brunette beside him, perphaps noticing her gaze. Fuji , on the otherhand, looked perfectly fine. Calm. The calm before the storm.

"Have you been saying bad things about me behind my back, Fuji ?"

Fuji pulled his smile wider. "Are you worried about the 'bad things' or the 'behind your back'?"

"I-"

"If I don't say behind your back, I don't exactly say it in your face, right?"

"You-"

"But what good things am I to say about you? Yes. Don't give me that shocked face. I anticipated you."

Ryuzaki would have been contented to give Fuji a big slap on the cheek and a good dressing down, but she might as well be giving herself a death sentence. If anything happened to Fuji, his fanclub was sure to maul, or make mincemeat out of her, teacher or not.

Fanclubs can be a real blessing in disguise, or so Fuji found out.

His wit was really going to get himself killed one day.

She started class without proper greetings and launched into a long boring lecture, while internally wallowing in self pity.

-

"Right. So the question is: If the distance between Town A and B is _x_km, and every 2km there is a lampost, 3km a hydrant and 4km a mailbox, how fast should two cars be travelling respectively if Car Y was to go through 1/3 of the distance of _x _in two hours and Car Z was to..."

The class was unbelieveably quiet. They were either dead, or sleeping.

"They're sleeping."

"FUJI!" Ryuzaki half yelled. "Are you pyschic or something?!"

"No," Came the amused reply. "I'm simply perceptive."

"Hn." Ryuzaki hn-ed unconvincingly. "Anyway, can you answer my previous question?"

"Didn't I just?"

"I mean the math problem."

"Oh that." He paused, looking thoughtful. "I wouldn't exactly say that I know."

_Fuji...NOT KNOW?_

"It depends on the traffic. I'm sure if it was peak hours it would take ages to go from one end to the next."

"...Fine." Sigh. "Let me rephrase that question. IFthere was no traffic."

"But isn't Maths all about logic? Here a car drives on a road with no traffic, but full of lamposts, hydrants and mailboxes? If no one uses the road, why bother putting all these things people use? With your additional sentence, this question is made illogical and it is against my right to answer it."

Of course he doesn't have a right. If he does, Tezuka would be choking up blood right this minute.

"This is nuts-"

"I AM NUTS HERE, FUJI-_SAN_."

"That is inappropriate use of honourables,"

_Briing._

"Anyway, I'd better get going before my brain does stop functioning."

Watching Ryuzaki's back, Fuji wiped a tear from the corner of his eye with a delicate finger. _Fuji, you genius._

-

Ryuzaki managed to skip the biggest tortue of English lessons with Class 6 by having a stomachache. Of course it was real, or else how was she able to get away from the sadist of a school nurse?

She downed 7 cups of wasabi for this, and it had better work.

It did, but it went away in time for the last lesson, to oh-so dreaded Science.

However, lab lesson was yesterday, so she was spared from another round of wasabi.

'However' and 'spared' wasn't exactly the best words to describe it though...

-

"So the suction power of one foot of the gecko is equivalent to the weight of one child, normally it is very hard to pull it off the wall once its stuck."

"Use a child to pull it off." The feminine voice uttered a witty retort.

"That was totally pointless and brainless Fuji," She didn't spend her few hours in agony for nothing. A list of comebacks she prepared. Only if they weren't so lame.

But then, Fuji wasn't a counter-puncher for nothing. An eye for an eye. A counter for a counter.

"Ryuzaki sensei, I thrive on pointless comebacks to give lamer remarks. I exist to do that. Didn't you know?"

It was totally true. But totally unexpected.

-

Okay, she admit it. She **had** been bloodily massacred and ridiculed by none other than her dear regular Fuji Syusuke.

At least she escaped English. Imagine saying:

_Look Tom. See cat.  
See cat run.  
Run cat run  
Tom sees cat run._

In front of a very unpredictable male who practically gets full marks for university english papers, reads english literature novels the size of a dictionary and collects more english storybooks than japanese ones.

No. Nonononono.

YES! SHE ACTUALLY MANAGED TO REMOVE HERSELF FROM ONE OF THE EVIL CLUTCHES OF FUJI! YATTA!

But then, looking back at her experiences of extreme embarrasment in front of Fuji, she felt like such a walking contradiction.

So, she proceeded to swiftly smack her forehead on the nearest wall.

A muffled _click_ was heard at the same time as the sound of the impact between the skull and wall. Then it morphed into evil laughter, Fuji style.

If Ryuzaki hadn't been so depressed, she would have caught that sneak and beat the living daylights out of him.

Which she didn't, because she was depressed.

And that was exactly what Fuji had been counting on.

* * *

**A/N: Oh poor poor Ryuzaki-sensei. :( Praise Fuji or mourn for Ryuzaki, you decide. Flamers are welcome. Constructive reviews are more than welcome. If you come to laugh your head off I'd like to laugh with you, because I'd be so happy that my passage has such an interesting effect. :)**


	3. Tezuka

Disclaimer: FUJI IS MINE! TEZUKA IS MINE! ATOBE IS MINE! SENGOKU, YUUSHI, YAGYUU, MARUI andandand NIOU ARE MINE! But Prince of Tennis is not mine. Someway or another... I shall get it! Mwahahhahaa.

* * *

Part I: SEIGAKU, (ii) Tezuka, captain.

"Is Ryuzaki sensei here already?"

"Nah, she went home straight after Science lesson."

_Oh?_ "Because of you."

"I am primarily responsible."

To say the truth, Tezuka didn't want to know why, how and what. Honestly! He had a bad feeling about today, like a collection of ice cubes that slid down his back every few minutes.

"Never mind," _The prince of topic-changers._ Fuji snorted. "Twenty-five laps everyone, warmup."

Of course, Fuji knew better than to provoke a moody Tezuka; it was a quick and fast death to everyone who tried, but wasn't it more fun that way?

"Have a banana," Tezuka glanced cynically at the obviously plotting Fuji, and took the offered banana. He was that close to peeling it before his common sense got to him, and he shook it a little to test for powder, prodded it for pills, and took out a pair of silver chopsticks to test for poison. The test came out clean, and Tezuka shook himself a little, wondering why he suspected Fuji to use such a dirty trick on him.

It may be paranoia, but it was well worth it, considering the number of teachers he sabotaged in the matter of a few months.

"...Very funny, Fuji." He tossed the banana back to Fuji, who blocked it with his arm and fell back into his hand. Whatever it was, he wouldn't say more words than he needed to.

Fuji excused himself, and slipped away faster than Sanada's Invisible Serve. Not that it mattered.

Tezuka decided to compose himself and looked at the banana. It was an ordinary banana, much less an Inui's synthetically modified banana. However, it was very famous due to the fact that the banana looked very much like a real one.

_"My synthetically modified fruits are perfectly fit to eat." Inui claimed a touch testily. Seigaku went into an eye-rolling competition. Inui's eyelid twitched, but continued. "They look extremely like their original counterpart, so I suggest you take a bite to see which one you are eating."_

Take a bite eh? One bite and you get the Kiss of Death in return.

Tezuka considered for a whole two minutes before biting down on the yellow flesh.

Mmm, sweet.

Assuming, at a risk of course, that the banana was perfectly fine, he polished it off.

-

Fuji frowned at Tezuka's stotic expression. It hasn't softened; nope, not a bit, instead it hardened up, along with his guard.

What is a banana without endorphins?

Fuji's just been ripped. _The banana is suppose to make him HAPPY, not the other way round. Sheesh. I can't believe I wasted my allowance for a bunch of bananas that doesn't work its wonders._

At the end of the bunch, Tezuka skeptically threw away the last peel and rewarded Fuji with his famous Tezuka Glare he rewarded to his naughtiest regulars, basically, Fuji.

Maybe he should have tried chocolate, or something stronger. That brick wall of a buchou needed to be force-fed the endorphins.

Fuji had no problem understanding that if he gave another banana to Tezuka, he would be given a few weeks of laps to run in return.

Perphaps this plan failed, but his other plans was guaranteed to make Tezuka writhe on the ground in pain, LITERALLY!

After this, it was that cheater of a fruit seller's turn...

-

It hadn't been easy hatching plots for Tezuka.

In the end, Fuji even resorted to thinking in his other teamates point of view.

Eiji, he believed, would probably glomp Tezuka until he promised a smile. It was a great idea, and might work...

...if he was Eiji. It was EIJI he's talking about here!

He has the childish innocent aura that most likely makes the GAYEST things, people and situation look STRAIGHT.

And Fuji here believed that he didn't exactly have the childish _snort _innnocent _choke _aura.

The main focus here is to IRRITATE THE HELL out of Tezuka.

When he does that, Oishi might probably send him to the mental hospital in a frenzy.

The rest of the regulars, seeing that they weren't as ambitious as him, as happy enough that Tezuka twitch his eyebrow, or pop a vein. Those were enough emotion they were glad to see from him. Nothing more, or they might get a heart attack.

Maybe...maybe except for Echizen.

He wouldn't do anything to save his buchou's life.

-

Inui skeptically recorded into his book:

_140th Practice this year, 19 00: Ryoma leaving in the direction of his house as usual, Momoshiro, as announced, left for the newly renovated burger shop in the opposite direction. Kaidoh haven't left yet, as I am going to hand him his super-absorbent handkerchief for his Boomerang Snake shot after I complete this entry. Kawamura and Oishi are walking off in the direction of the sushi shop for a inter-class project due two weeks after today. Fuji picks up a...Tezuka's bag? He walks off non-chalantly. Tezuka picked up the last bag and left. He normally checks the side stitching before he picks up his bag, though. I can't wait to see what happens next. Ii data._

-

Who would have known, Tezuka, the infamous brick wall, stotic person, burnt toast and a stone rolled in one, defeated by bananas?

Sure, the endorphins didn't work on him. Those things never did; he was naturally immune.

But it was a fact that he was annoyed. Still, he wasn't going to give Fuji the satisfaction he longed for.

Tezuka may not be Atobe, but being the tennis club buchou and the source of many a fanclubs' inspiration, he had a reputation to sustain. Not to mention, an ego to protect.

The facade was on, is on, and shall forever stay on.

With a determined yet poker look on his face, he faced his World History homework with new resolve. _Now, to finish this._

Sadly, he was totally oblivious to the tennis bag he brought home and the suspiciously evil and evily suspicious aura surrounding it.

-

About 5km away, homework was the last thing on Fuji's mind.

The first thing that sadist did when he got home was to research Tezuka's bag. Thoroughly.

Apparantly, the doctor left painkillers for his arm, as he anticipated. By the looks of the bottle of painkillers, Tezuka took them about everyday. Which meant he _needed _them everyday...

_If my calling doesn't kill him first, this would..._

_-_

_Ring ring ring ring, banana phone!_

Bananas wasn't exactly on his list of favourite things now, and however much he wants to change his ringtone, his grandfather threw away the manual right after buying the telephone and he had no choice but to threaten to bang his head on the wall whenever he heard the childish ringtone.

The feeling came stronger today. As expected, considering what he went through during practice.

Tezuka glanced at the caller ID warily. Of course, it was Fuji, who probably wanted to finish annoying him until he broke down.

"Hn. Moshi moshi."

"Aa, Tezuka."

"Speak. I have to have my dinner soon."

"Kuni-chan needs to eat eh? Coochie coochie..."

"..." Tezuka debated whether to reply to the insult or not. In the end, his pride got to the better of him. "Fuji-SAN." _Mou, that was the second time today I'm called that._

"Hai?"

"30 laps. Now."

"Around where? My house? Sheesh."

"Yes. NOW."

"Mitsu! So mean.."

"40." The vein pop sound echoed through the speakers.

"Okay, okay, don't get me wrong. I have something to tell you-"

"Run now."

Tezuka hung up. He didn't like the way the conversation was heading.

On the other side, Fuji smiled sweetly, and redialed.

-

At Tezuka's house, his annoying ringtone resounded once again in his room, creating eerie echoes. He stared at the caller ID, which stared right back and refused to go away. No one but him sould have caused as much grief.

He left the phone ringing and went to take a shower, putting water strength at full blast.

When he came out from the shower, the retarded phone was still ringing. Luckily, he had his own telephone, or his father, grandfather and especially his mother would come up and beat the guts out of him. They were very traditional, so they refused to eat before everyone was here. No one said in one piece though.

Not every teenager tasted the wrath of his mother before, except for perphaps himself. And now, Fuji is hitting on him.

Oh woe is him.

He unplugged the answering machine before going down for dinner, a slight smile grazing his features.

-

It was only after homework before he felt the familiar, dull throb at his shoulder.

Being the lame, schedule-bound person, Tezuka walked to the same place he always placed his bag where he left it, using the same route, and completed the task in exactly thirty-three steps.

But when he reached the bag, he was thrown off schedule.

Nothing in his 15 years of experience in living (sounds like Horio) could explain the downright evil aura around the bag.

Which only means one thing: Fuji.

Tezuka traced the stitching along the bag absently. The bumpy Tezuka K. was replaced by the equally bumpy Fuji S. The colour of the bag was a shade darker too. In fact, just about everything of the bag was different. Fuji used a different colonge.

How could he be so careless?

Put that aside, he needed his painkillers. The throbbing was starting to get duller than his history teacher, who, if you didn't know, is very very dull. Let me stress that again. DULL.

Clutching his shaking arm, he tucked the phone under his ear after dialing the person he least wanted to talk to.

-

_"3, 2, 1"_

_Aniki! _

The most peculiar kind of ringtone ever. Fuji taped Yuuta screaming at him. He thought it was cute, though Yuuta freaked out when he found out the ringtone.

_WHAT?! Ani-ONEE-CHAN!!_

Fuji reminisced, until he figured out he was rejecting THE call. THE call he had been countdown-ing for. He snatched the phone off its handle.

"Moshi moshi. Aa. Tezuka."

"Did you bring home your tennis bag today?"

"Well of course I did," Fuji feigned annoyance, though enjoying himself thoroughly.

"Check again."

Fake rummaging sounds could be heard from Tezuka's phone. "Wait a minute...isn't this..?"

"Yes. I have yours. I told you Fuji, _yudan sezu ni ikou_."

"Perphaps, what about you?

"...Shut up."

"Touchy."

"Bring the bag with you to Seigaku, or its 20 laps tomorrow. I'll meet you at the gate."

"Bu-"

_Toot-toot-toot_

"Aw man." Fuji twitched, and replaced the phone properly. He didn't sound too in pain.

-

"..." Tezuka passed Fuji's bag to the latter wordlessly.

"What's eating you?" Fuji accepted the bag and gave Tezuka a bottle. Of pills.

"..." He glanced at the bottle. _Painkillers._ Retaining his stone face expression, he pulled open the bottle cap and popped a couple of pills into his mouth, downing them without water. Fuji looked on with a face of pure amusement.Tezuka looked up, in time to see his grin.

"10 laps around the school, Fuji-san."

"Drop the -san! Its irritating."

"You are." Tezuka stated simply. "Run."

_I might have lost the battle, but I haven't lost the war yet._

_

* * *

_

**A/N: Argh. Man...I'm banned from using the computer .. So now I'm in school pon-ing co-curriculum activities :D HAWHAWHAW. Hope you liked it, though I'm behind time :X Not my fault larh. :P Anyway, TEZUKA WINS AGAIN ; Fuji never wins again the buchou xD Next up, Eiji and Oishi. The thing is if I only wrote one each the fanfiction would be so short .. MEH xD So sorry. Expect me in about a week, give or take a week if I'm slow :D**


	4. Eiji and Oishi

Disclaimer: I hardly know enough japanese words to create a pun. Prince of Tennis is not mine, but you'd better be glad because if I owned it, I would name Ryoma...Vincent.. O.O

WARNING: Long chapter starting from the word 'Next'. Probably one of my longest, and please bear with me: Bigger paragraphs. Been thinking that my paragraphs are too short these few days :D

* * *

Part I: SEIGAKU, (iii/iv) Eiji and Oishi, Golden pair. (_slight Seigaku torture) _(1) 

Next up, after careful planning, Fuji ultimately decided to tackle the rock-solid friendship of the Golden Pair. Not that he was going to break them up, doubles partner sense, or any other kind of relationship good little junior high boys shouldn't be thinking of, but perhaps he should test their friendship, ahem ahem, this time round.

He needed a long, deserved (or is it?) rest for his brain from Tezuka. He was a hard nut to crack, so Fuji immediately rescheduled Echizen to be tortured with Momo a few days later and bring the Golden Pair up front.

It would be fun to see Echizen in agony or embarrassment, taking after Tezuka-buchou and everything, but that could come later.

Eiji and Oishi actually weren't too hard to, let's just say, meddle with their minds. To solve the riddle, you find the extremes. You get the extremes, you get the plot. You get the plot, you set a place to fulfill the requirements of that scheme and voila, you set a perfect trap right under their noses without them knowing. You just have to get the hang of it.

He has got the plot, and all he needs is co-operation from Eiji. It was the easiest to get a favour out of Eiji, especially if it was a party being held there. It was just so simple...

-

"No."

"Mou, buchou." Eiji pouted childishly. Momoshiro mourned along with him. "Fujiko-chan here planned it! We can't let his effort go to waste, nya?" Fuji nodded, looking totally sadistic. Which of course the saddened Eiji didn't notice.

_Fuji__'s out there to get you! Stay away from him! He's a barracuda in a junior high schooler's uniform! _The nearly invisible twitch in Tezuka's eyebrows was the only clue to what he had been thinking of only minutes before. "No." He added more iron to his voice, but somehow it only seemed to give the redhead more hope.

It was only until then when he noticed Ryuzaki-sensei walking towards the group. She snickered at his dilemma. "Great idea, Eiji. We didn't actually celebrate our placing in the Nationals yet," Ryuzaki looked as eager as Fuji to torture the rest of the teammates. Did Fuji's plans make Ryuzaki sadistic as well?

Eiji's face brightened up, as well as Momoshiro's. On the silent count of three, they pounced on Ryuzaki, who was staggering under their weight. Echizen was looking dully at Tezuka, focusing his piercing gaze on the twitch while sipping Ponta. Kaidoh just entered the courts, along with Inui. Oishi, sadly, left the courts to refill his bottle before the announcement. Taka scratched his head nervously.

"Do I have to make sushi on that day?" Taka said to no one in particular, but Fuji answered him. "Please do. You won't know how hungry they will be."

"SATURDAY, FIVE O'CLOCK PEOPLE!" Eiji's voice echoed through the courts.

-

"No, Eiji, you put the streamers around the balloons, not in it."

"Nya? Gomen ne! I'm too excited! The last time I invited my friends over was six years ago!" Each sentence was punctuated with an exclamation mark. Fuji winced slightly.

"Did you leave an unguarded access route to the endorphin section, Oishi?" Fuji called towards the kitchen. Oishi came out, wearing an eerily pink and frilly apron and looking absolutely retarded.

"What did he do this time?"

"He put the streamers in the balloon. I've always wondered how he did that." Oishi smiled in response, before they were wiped off cleanly like a waitress with a cloth tackling a dirty table. Never mind, what a lame description. The mouth opened wide and along with the eyes.

Skeptically, he asked. "Is that rum?!"

Fuji chuckled, picking up the flask of greenish liquid. Quite unlike the Vegetable Juices of Inui, the color was somewhat soothing. However, in the eyes of Oishi, any liquid is potential alcohol. Amusing really. "You can say it is. Basically, it is sugarcane juice. But if I leave this to ferment, it'll be rum in a few weeks."

Oishi paled. Every sentence of Fuji's was a single, whole and big mystery all by itself. Talking to Fuji was just like talking to a wall, except a wall could make you less confused. All a wall can do is to sit and stare back. He smiled reluctantly, only to take back his smile with a face of pure shock.

"Wine?" He choked on the word with disgust. Apparently, he was against underage drinking.

"This?" Fuji replaced the flask and picked up the transparent two litre bottle, which apple juice labeling was peeling off sadly. The contents however, were far from apple juice. Only if apple juice was purple.

"That's grape juice." Fuji explained genially. Oishi looked weird, in between gagging and grinning.

He forced a smile. "And I suppose that you are going to tell me that is apple and pear juice instead of ciderjack, right?"

"How did you guess?"

"DI-AAAA-GORO?" Eiji called, expecting the stuffed teddy bear to walk out all by itself. Instead, Oishi and Fuji came to check on him. His bottom lip trembled in disappointment.

"Diagoro? Did you lose him?" Fuji looked somewhat worried, and Oishi would have been convinced if he didn't see the evil glimmer reflecting off his azure blue eyes. One great actor he was, but he couldn't stop his sadistic nature.

"DIAGORO..." Eiji's shouting muffled to a whimper, and he burst into chibi tears. Oishi jumped out of his skin, and promptly freaked out.

"Daijobu ka, Eiji?!"

"Di-diagoro.." Eiji chibi hugged Oishi around the knees. "He must be kidnapped! Maybe he would get his legs pulled out and his fluff removed! What if he gets tortured?! OISHI-MAMA! SAVE DIAGORO!" Somehow, he came to his senses again and stood up, eyes glinting with extreme determination. "I must remove Diagoro from the evil clutches of the torturer! Who's with me?!"

_Drama-king..._Oishi thought traitorously. Looking at Eiji's puppy- no, scratch that - kitty eyes, he sighed and stammered, "Eh. Me?" The betrayer Fuji slipped away silently during the commotion, now no where to be seen. He cursed.

_Ding-dong_

_"Eh? Nobody?"_

_Dingdongdingdongdingdong_

_"Oooh, fun! Heheh."_

_Dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong_

_"Urusai!"_

_"Mamushi! You want to fight? ARGH?!"_

_"Momo-chan-senpai, Kaidoh-senpai, you are way too loud."_

_"Is that the way to speak to your senpai?!"_

_"Bet you can't beat me in tennis."_

_"Echizen! You say one more word ahhh..."_

Oishi debated whether to open the door and invite more chaos or leave the door close and let Momoshiro slaughter Echizen. In the end, his right-shouldered-angel won, and he crept towards the door, a foreboding aura right behind it. On the count of three, he held his breath and flung the door wide open.

Six figures stared weirdly at Oishi, who looked particularly frazzled for some reasons they didn't know. "Oishi-fukubuchou? What happened?" Momoshiro asked with apparant interest.

"Eiji lost Diagoro." He stated simply.

The regulars paled. They could remember how much Eiji loved Diagoro, in the sense that they could recite the tag on Diagoro's butt in their sleep, which Eiji never failed to miss out a number. During sleepovers, Eiji cried without Diagoro, and hugged anyone of the unlucky regulars instead. The latest one was Echizen. During the camp, he brought Diagoro around, and in the end Echizen had to curl up in the cupboard to sleep. Momoshiro felt sorry for him, really!

In one way or another, Echizen had a way better fate than the pillow he chewed up in his sleep.

Inui proceeded to go to the kitchen, the light reflecting off his glasses. Momoshiro and Echizen went to the spare refrigerator to raid it. Taka set down his sushi box and sat down, feeling rather extra. Tezuka, always prepared, took his english literature text to translate. Kaidoh weighed his options, and intelligently decided to stone.

Meanwhile, Inui was, well not exactly doing what all the regulars wanted. Echizen and Momo tried to save all the food from Inui before it got fed into the blender with other edible things to become something..._inedible_. Incredible feat, but all the regulars needed was one. One demo. It was enough.

Fuji decided that it was the right time to bring out Diagoro from Eiji's nee-chan's (Thank you for pointing out that xrap mistake :D) cupboard. He remembered when Eiji told him the doom in that particular piece of furniture, supposedly worse than his own. It wasn't actually that bad, just a couple of dozens of pink garments, but for boys it was more than torture. Fuji secretly thanked her for the hiding place.

-

It was peculiar how the most random of things pop out of the most random of locations at the most random of times. It was so creepy, it almost seemed planned. Diagoro sat so wordlessly at the middle of the den that Eiji regretted overacting. Somehow, he remembered stepping over the same pattern with the square and the triangle a couple of millions of times looking for Diagoro, and now it's sitting on the exact pattern looking quite innocent. He can't help but wonder why.

Oishi had gone out to get their ice cream cake, with the special 'Seigaku Victory' with big curvy letters in blue, red and white icing. Eiji had designed it himself, and sadly he believes that everyone would like that lame slogan. Sadder still, it was going to get destroyed.

MESSILY. Pity on the cake.

_Ding-dong_

"O-i-shi MAMA!" Eiji bounced over to the front door like a pogostick, much to many of the regulars' amusement. He snatched the cake from Oishi's hand rudely, and took the 'masterpiece' out. By now, Inui had been trying the regulars to drink the pig intestines juice and Momoshiro and Echizen had now moved to the punch section where the alleged alcoholic drinks lurk in the shadows of the punch bowl.

_All set_.

Fuji slid smoothly past the ecstatic Eiji, who, right after Fuji's departure, slipped and fell, the cake flying out into the air.

"CAKE!" Eiji started crying the second time that day. Unluckily, there will be a third.

Everyone looked, Tezuka passively, Taka in horror, Momo in shock, Kaidoh in surprise, Inui in...no wait, Inui wasn't looking, he was taking notes; Oishi in motherly terror, Echizen indifferently. Our dear Fuji here looked far more amused than all the rest.

To describe the gory effect to be achieved, this part has to be written out in slow-mo. Eiji jumped, facial muscles tingling with joy, and landed on an _innocent_ rollerblade. It moved front, along with Eiji. Oishi's mouth, most funnily, pulled his mouth open and grabbed Eiji to safety. Momoshiro looked up from the punch bowl in surprise and block off the cake with his arm. The angle landed exactly at the middle of the den. Which, if you haven't noticed, is where Diagoro sits.

Eiji stared. Stared. And stared and stared. And cried. Pretty obvious, though.

Fuji smiled. "I guess we'll have to do without the cake then. How does pizza sound?"

All the regulars, save for Inui, Tezuka and Kaidoh, CHEERED. Not for long.

-

The bell that sounded the chimes of danger, chimed again. Oishi peered at Fuji. A smile quite unlike his normal one grazed his features.

Eiji had chucked Diagoro into the washing machine to wash, and came in time to open the front door, which Oishi had been paranoid of, and Fuji had been too plotting - does that even make sense? - to open. He pulled the door wide, paid for the pizza and took them in.

Momoshiro and Echizen pounced, but Fuji took the box from Eiji's hands. "Mmm, wasabi."

"Wasabi?" The regulars chorused. Not purposely though, it was pure coincidence. Coincidences were not coincidences after you go to Seigaku. There are no such things there. It all depends on your karma.

"Of course," Fuji opened the pizza box, and the regulars' nose prickled in disgust at the pungent smell. The yellow, cheesy...cheese that covered the crust was in turn covered by layers of _things._ Green paste and yellow stringy cheese do not match. "Thought you'll like it."

Momoshiro, Echizen, Kaidoh, Taka, Eiji, Oishi and pratically everyone who tasted the wrath of wasabi, cringed.

"You don't want any?" Everyone firmly shook their head, like doing so would save their lives. It could.

The regulars spent the rest of the party in misery, picking at the tiny sushi Taka prepared. Anago sushi was somehow too hard to fit into the box for round sushi, was left out. It was then Eiji decided to lapse into another crying fit.

And Oishi, being Oishi, was torn between comforting Eiji and risk getting his sushi stolen by his ravenous teammates or eat his sushi and look in agony as Eiji cry in agony. It was a rare gift of empathy that Oishi treasured, but right now all he wants to do is to chuck it down the bin.

Oh woe is them.

_

* * *

_

**A/N: To make up for my slowness, I prepared six of my plots for my six chapters in advance. All I need is to write it out and beta it :D Hear from me faster these few chapters :) If you do click that review button, I'd be ever so happy **

**P.S: neko11lover! GLOMP. Thank you for reviewing all my chapters :DD**

(1) It means when part of the plot is also tortureing the rest of the regulars. Not very common, but sometimes inevitable. Sorry.


	5. Fuji, Bridge

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis :D

Warning: Extreme lameness, and if you don't like masochism, don't read on. This is a bridge from this realm of insanity to the next. This realm is the Ryuzaki, Tezuka and Eiji/Oishi torture. Their torture styles are very different, because basically Fuji (the writer, actually) is trying to get used to the pure adrenaline he gets from torture. The next realm of insanity includes excessive use of Inui juice, some wasabi, and a bit of manipulation. Look forward to it:D

* * *

Part I: SEIGAKU, (v) Fuji, torturer, BRIDGE

Masochism.

It was the first word that caught his eye when he picked up the dictionary at the tender age of six.

_MASOCHISM: Enjoyment of being hurt or punished – compare SADISM_

Fuji proceeded checked up 'sadism'.

_SADISM: The practice of getting pleasure from being cruel to someone – compare MASOCHISM._

It was the critical point of his life. To chose between masochism and sadism and live with his choice for all his life.

Any sane person would have picked sadism, and sadism he picked. He often wondered why he didn't chose the other and lived another, perphaps better life.

Was it the wrong choice, to chose sadism?

Fuji decides to use today to find out the ultimate answer that could change his life forever.

-

A suicidal Fuji Syusuke is very out of place in the Fuji household, so he decided to use basement for his act. It was not as if he wanted anybody to see...Fuji snickered. It would be entertaining to see his family members' faces of pure shock.

Wait. He was reverting back to his sadistic side again.

There was an unused dressing table in the dusty basement. It was perfect. The crack on the mirror just adds onto the masochist effect.

Fuji fingered the penknife on his right hand guiltily. It didn't seem right to be betraying his sadistic side now he had been with it for nearly nine years. It was too late to turn back now...

Staring down at his own reflection with sharp cerulean eyes, he brought the penknife down on his wrist and cut.

To his surprise, it wasn't at all painful. Then, it dawned upon him. The gruelling tennis trainings has left his nervous system a wreck, and he wouldn't feel any pain unless you pour a jug of hot water on his arm. Which would be very painful.

The blood oozed from the cut and trickled on the gray tiles. It seemed almost ironic. The sadist, attempting suicide. He would have chuckled out loud if he wasn't doing this in secret.

The penknife, now stained vermillion with his own blood, was just the thing to send in to a photography competition.

Wait, that has got nothing to do with masochism. Perphaps Fuji would really do better as a masochist?

He did laugh over his cut, didn't he? Maybe he was laughing at his own reflection? It was undoubtly one of Fuji's hardest moments. He had never felt his brain so screwed up before.

The mirror unfortunately caught the light at the wrong moment, and glinted over like Inui's glasses, as if laughing at Fuji's plight. His eyes unconsiously snapped open, and saw the mirror's act of stupidity. His eyes narrowed in annoyance.

Glancing at the penknife, then at the mirror, at the crack, and back to the knife again, he smiled. It would be a friendly smile to any acquaintances or strangers of Fuji's, but behind it lies an evil plan, a conspiracy.

He pierced the penknife through the dressing table deeply, and pulled to the right sharply. The wood scractched and left an ugly scar, looking like it was going to bleed. Before long, the dresser was reduced to a pile of ruins, and Fuji laid panting, enjoying the exhilaration he got in return. Revenge is sweet.

Yes, he was a born sadist, no doubt, and he would never question his choice of life again.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I was so late, but we are having post-exam activities this week, and it was really tiring. No beta readers, so there might be heavy grammatical errors, since I always do fail grammar in school anyway .. Who wants to be my beta reader can give me a PM, and I'd chose (If I actually get ANY PMs)**

**A/N/A** (1)**: Fuji shall never be a masochist. It sounds as wrong as Tezuka being a happy kid, Momoshiro dieting, Echizen losing to some lame guy at tennis, Taka making horrible sushi, Kaidoh running out of breath...and yeah, you get the idea. But my friends tried to prove me otherwise, and I shall show them wrong with this fic. MUAHAHAHHA.**

(1): Author's Note Again


	6. Inui

**disclaimer: **Konomi Takeshi owns Prince of Tennis. I am not Konomi Takeshi. Therefore, I do not own Prince of tennis  
**dedicated to:** My reviewers. Your prompting makes me update xO  
**warning: **Inui being manipulated. Kindof fictionish. Inui-fan don't touch. Slight OOC if you have the same kind of thinking as me.  
**summary: **Inui wouldn't trust his book nor Fuji for a long time...Perphaps slight Evil Pair if you squint :D

* * *

Part I: SEIGAKU, (vi) Inui, data master.

Inui was slightly miffed by the fact that he had yet gotten useful information from their resident prodigy, like any other day. He grouchily stomped to school, like any other day.

Not slightly, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone. Out loud.

He was a pro stalker, a childhood dream which he fufilled with his _best friend_, Renji. _Best friend_. Ahem. And goodness, he cannot even handle a case such a Fuji. He even managed to get a page and a half out of Tezuka. Only when he manages to get useful information on Fuji would he be dubbed a pro. He's just a prawn now.

Okay, maybe Fuji is an exception. He was far too mysterious to be stalked.

He was ready to tear his hair- no, the page- out of his bla- no, _note_book-. The situation is getting the better of him, and he was already having more miscalculations since the days of bowling.

Anyway, he looked critically at the measly information he took four months to force out of Fuji:

Name: Fuji Syuusuke  
Height: 167cm  
School: Seishun Gakuen Third year Class Six  
Family: Father, Mother, Younger brother, Older Sister  
Birthday: He has never once celebrated his birthday in his three years in the tennis club.  
Playing style: Unknown  
Grip tape: Unknown - may be shipped (5 percent. Otherwise unknown)  
Evolution of play: Unknown  
Double or single eyelid: Unknown  
Tolerance for pain/juice: High. (0.7 percent he was actually zombified. Otherwise unknown)  
Pets: Unknown (Owns cactus, species unknown)  
Family income per annum: Unknown  
Relatives alive: Unknown  
Last visit to doctor: Unknown  
Last visit to dentist: Unknown  
Last visit to pyscologist: Probability is high. (Considering 6 percent higher than other calculations)

He did not want to read further. The mere thought of not squeezing a page out of Fuji in a year was horrible, and the thing was the probability was either 0.034 percent or less. Being a genius can be tiring, and perphaps Fuji doesn't show it. He might not even be tired, considering his eccentric personality and (irregular) behavior patterns.

Okay. He lied. There was no pattern.

Nonetheless, he walked towards the courts, holding a 0.00735 percent of hope that Fuji might actually invite him into his world of mysterious and his family bank of some sort. There was a 25.2 percent chance of Fuji messing his brain before he could take notes, but risks were meant to be taken...

-.-

Practice was like usual: Tezuka slacking around the courts to assign laps, though Inui could bet that he trains 59.7 percent harder in his own free time anyway. Maybe he could increase the training regime by 20 percent or so to keep up. Fuji and Echizen were having a match with the chance of winning 50-50. Fuji was leading 40-30, but he had the serve, so it was still 50-50. Momoshiro and Kaidoh are having a match of endurance, 100 percent Kaidoh wins, though if it was a match of power, Kaidoh would be trashed.

Meanwhile, he sat there and tended to his special Aozu and a couple of pitchers of the Vintage Penal-tea.

Fuji took the ball, holding it neither like an underhand nor a normal serve. 2 percent he would drop the ball purposely. Serve unknown. He served a normal one that flew towards Echizen, who caught it and formed a rally. Fuji held the racket, then again neither like a Tsubame Gaeshi nor a normal return.

He hit a normal return in a slight lob that landed in the middle of the court. Echizen formed a rally again. They rallied for a while before Echizen smashed the ball in a return similiar to 'KA' of Sanada Genichirou in Renji- ahem, Yanagi's school. Fuji...

Did not Higuma-Otoshi it.

Inui pondered over his choices of returns until after practice and got badly and horribly scolded by Tezuka who had told him to take information on a certain green-haired freshman. Ahem. Practice was otherwise lame and uneventful, with the few cliches of people dying all over the courts with his juices and everything, and those obvious every-pratice-must-have kind of scenes where everyone withered after running 100 laps assigned by the stotic captain, for reasons stated above.

AND THEN. TO HIS UTMOST SURPRISE. Fuji asked him to play a match with him.

OMG. Anyway. Fuji was a very mysterious person, and had never bothered to change that bit about him before. He was also quite paranoid, so he never did allow the data master to stalk him, track him, kill him, at the very least play him. Inui had a hunch that he would answer half of all the questions in his Fuji notebook.

And now he did. Inui had ANOTHER hunch that Fuji would actually slaughter him without means of weapons except for a racket before he could take any notes. Two hunches in a day. That was virtually impossible.

Then again, he made anything possible.

-.-

Fuji was already at the courts, smiling in a vain attempt to look angelic. A devilish smile played with his lips.

Inui casted a glance at the wistful scene that enveloped the courts: The setting sun that gave a golden red hue to the clay courts, the trees swaying lightly in the wind which wound itself between golden strands of Fuji's hair and teasing the knotted ends loose.

Whoever said Fuji wasn't romantic isn't Inui.

"You serve." The clear voice rang out, seemingly vibrating the trees in its power. Birds scattered from various trees.

Inui put down his tennis bag, picked up his notebook and his racket before stepping towards the open courts. Fuji handed him a bright yellow tennis ball, which he accepted. He threw the ball up.

The match has begun.

-.-

It was one of the most exhilarating matches Inui had experienced since Renji moved. The adrenaline gushing through his senses was making him light-headed, and it was almost a miracle that Inui managed to stay awake. Ever-shifting styles of play flashed past his eyes like a dream.

This might be it. The opening of Muga no Kyochi.

Inui toyed with the ridiculous idea for a while, his mind not on the match. It was impossible. All those mesmerising moves has made him more captivated since the days of Tezuka. He forgot all about his blackmail book, his juice, his Aozu, his...

That was Inui: Enveloped, filled, inside out, all about with pure adrenaline.

THEN, Fuji stopped the match. Inui's return plopped on the ground with a slight _thunk_ and a bounce, before it rolled towards Fuji, who seemingly attracts anything near him. Fuji dropped his racket, grinning.

"Listen carefully," He said evilly. "My birthday is 89th December. I live on Mars. I have a robo-dog. I have an adopted grandmother. I am gay..."

Inui fumbled with his green notebook of Doom, scribbling hastily over a blank page. The match has left him breathless, a shell resided by his newfound energy. His body worked, only because it was fueled by that adrenaline. After fifteen minutes, Inui covered a page.

_A page_... Inui's inner-self fought_. You have finally covered a page..._

He snapped. Once again, he was Inui. The datamaster. Fuji sensed his coming back, and good-naturedly patted his shoulder.

"I'm sorry."

-.-

Inui went to school feeling much more irked than usual, and was ever so willing to show it.

**-OWARI-**

**

* * *

**

**a/n: sorry for the late update x. I had six chapters ahead of me, but I found out that it was slightly too much sadism, cliched use of juice in this realm of insanity, so I have decided to alter this one a bit. A would be skipping Taka and Kaidoh's, because they are so cliched and I really don't want to post a cliched chapter. That would be sortof sad.**

**a/n2: Kaori Yuki's FAIRY CUBE is so cool :DD I can think of a good yaoi plot already **


End file.
